4 Muslim Women Share What Ramadan Means to Them
It’s the month of Islamic Calendar that every Muslim looks forward to. Seeing loved ones, cooking and eating together, and enjoying nights full of prayer and laughter. Although Ramadan is known as the time where Muslims fast from sunrise until sunset for thirty days, Ramadan is also about connection. Connecting to loved ones, community members and to God.
During Ramadan, Muslims practice self discipline by not eating or drinking, but also not lying, cursing, getting angry and so on. It is a physical, emotional and spiritual cleanse. When Ramadan ends, Muslims celebrate with a large celebration on the holiday called Eid-al-Fitr.
As someone who has grown up Muslim, I love Ramadan. I feel like even Non-Muslims can appreciate it, as it is the perfect time to just reflect on ourselves and grow as people.
Although it is usually a time to get together with family and friends and build community, many people are spending Ramadan in isolation due to COVID- 19. That means no big food gatherings, no large prayers at the mosque and no huge celebrations for Eid.
In preparation for the holy month, I asked four Muslim women about what Ramadan means to them and how they’re coping with fasting during a pandemic.
What is Ramadan to you?
Faridah: Ramadan is my restart. It’s my way to begin again, start my goals, improve myself. Look at myself and my relationship with Allah. It’s my time to be closer to God. It’s the holy month of Ramadan and I genuinely feel the holiness of it.
Tammy: It’s an opportunity for me to have a clean slate. During Ramadan, I am more spiritual and I’m closer to God than ever. This brings me peace and clarity in other areas of my life. It also results in a lot of self-reflection and therefore self-improvement. I realize that during this month I learn something new about myself and more importantly, I take steps to be better- a better Muslim, a better friend, a better daughter, a better person.
Additionally, my mum taught me early on that Ramadan is a period of giving. So while I do try to donate to several causes throughout the year, I’m more intentional about it during Ramadan.
Suneza: It is the one time throughout the year that I feel more connected to Allah and my family. I usually see my cousins around this time, and I am just overall closer to my family. I’m adopted so I feel more at peace when I see my biological brother for instance.
Hanaa: For me, Ramadan is about reconnecting with my faith through the structure that fasting provides. I also use Ramadan as a time to learn more about Islam and topics that are relevant to me.\
What does your average day in Ramadan look like?
Tammy: Ramadan typically occurs during the summertime. So a typical day includes waking up early for Suhoor, praying and meditating in between work breaks, and cooking for Iftar. Pre-covid, I would go to the neighborhood mosque and we would all break out fasts together. I miss doing that.
Suneza: At the beginning of the month, my entire family (except my mom because she’s tired) wakes up for Suhoor. We eat a large breakfast and read the Quran. There are 30 chapters, so we usually read one each day. Near the end of Ramadan, we do get a little lazy, but we do what we can, the best that we can do.
And during the day, we sometimes take a nap, but mainly we prepare for Iftar. We make a lot of food despite our appetites being much smaller. We have a saying around this time, to “drink oil and eat salt and sugar”.
Hanaa: I typically wake up an hour before Suhoor, eat and pray, and then get a nap before work (depending on the season). I take a nap in the middle of the day and if I start work super early I leave work at 3-4 PM. Then I find a podcast or youtube video to watch around an hour before iftar and cook while I learn. After I breakfast I pray and participate in Taraweeh (if possible) and head back to bed.
Are there any specific traditions you have when celebrating Ramadan?
Tammy: Back when I lived with my family, eating Suhoor and Iftar and going to the mosque together was something that was always really special to me. We did always break our fasts with fruits and soups and that’s something I still do. It’s become a habit of mine.
Suneza: There is this dish my mom only makes during Ramadan called Qubani-ka-Meetha. It’s a sweet made of crushed-up apricots 一 like a jam, and we usually top it off with heavy whipping cream.
Also, my mom has four sisters, so when it’s Magrib, they and my cousins come over and we pray together. We also participate in Taraweeh prayer together. And as of recently, we’ve been visiting my uncle’s grave in Lake Forest, to celebrate with him. I feel like Ramadan can also be a time to help you recognize and appreciate life. It’s not just a happy time, but a time to reflect.
Hanaa: I love having itfar with different groups of people in my life, including Muslim and non-muslim friends and my family.
What’s your favorite memory of Ramadan?
Faridah: My favorite memories are breaking fasts with my extended family and the imams when I was younger. My grandparents’ house was the spot. All my uncles, aunties, and cousins would come over. We’d all eat fruit salad to break and have amazing meals. The conversations were funny, beautiful, and jovial. Then we’d invite neighbors over to pray and eat. It gave me a real sense of community.
Tammy: My favorite memory of Ramadan is celebrating Eid al-Fitr at my Grandma’s house with all of my cousins. My Grandma would cook an abundance of food for the family and the neighborhood too! During this time, I’m able to catch up with family members I haven’t seen in a long time and it’s always really special.
Suneza: One summer, it was one of my first Ramadans with my family, we sat outside every day. We had hung some fairy lights outside, and we were already wearing clothes for Taraweeh prayer. And I don’t know, I just loved the environment. We were just talking and talking and talking. I don't know what we were talking about, but I’m an extrovert, so it recharges me whenever I watch other people talk. And it was just such a nice feeling.
How has the pandemic affected your Ramadan?
Faridah: In a way, it made Ramadan easier. It meant more time to yourself, and so more time focused on praying, being spiritual and not having to deal with the outside world as much. Alhamdullilah that I was able to do it at such a tumultuous time in the world, however I do miss the community that comes with breaking my fast with friends.
Tammy: Due to the pandemic, I was unable to go to the mosque for Iftar with my friends. Also, I used to enjoy eating at a restaurant with my friends on Eid and I unfortunately can’t do that safely anymore.
Hanaa: I’ve felt a huge loss of community for sure. Not being able to go to Iftar or Taraweeh or Eid prayer was especially hard. But something I’m looking forward to this year is being with my family again, even from a distance! I was living with my parents last year and doing Ramadan with them, which was great, but now I’m excited to see what Ramadan is like on my own with their support from a distance, since I’ve moved out.
Is there anything you would like non-Muslims to know about Ramadan?
Tammy: I think non-Muslims should know that there are circumstances that prevent Muslims from fasting during Ramadan. I think it would be respectful to not pry and ask why a Muslim isn’t fasting.
Suneza: It doesn’t really affect if I see food while I’m fasting. Non-Muslims don’t really need to do anything. My friends will ask questions, and I appreciate that, but no one has any obligation to accommodate me.
Hanaa: Respect Islam by asking thoughtful questions and extending patience. A lot of us are caffeine-deprived and struggling, but it makes it easier when you try to learn about Ramadan. Also – if I’m not eating, PLEASE eat. It’s so awkward when you refuse to eat in front of us!
Written by Farah Sallam
