The Truth About Affirmations
Whenever I try to explain how affirmations work to someone that’s unfamiliar with the concept, I describe this scenario:
It’s one of those days where the sun is gleaming in the sky. It’s not cold but it’s not too hot – the kind of weather that makes you want to go outside for no reason. You decide to go pick up some takeout and at the restaurant, you have to wait about 20 minutes for your order. On a gorgeous day like this, 20 minutes feels like nothing. You scroll on your phone, keeping yourself occupied with TikTok, but on your way home you suddenly realize that “Yummy” by Justin Bieber is stuck in your head. You can’t seem to figure out where it came from and you just can’t stop signing it! Here’s a clue: it was playing in the background at the restaurant while you were on your phone.
Okay, I was being a bit dramatic with the description, but my point remains the same.
Your subconscious mind acts like a sponge in every moment of every day, picking up cues and feeding itself with your recurring thoughts. Most of your ideals, beliefs and perceptions of yourself and others stem from the thoughts that persist in your subconscious. The craziest part is, they might not even be yours! They could be thoughts that, like “Yummy,” you picked up from someone else, like a friend or family member.
The lesson here is that it is important for you to be aware of what you feed your subconscious mind. Observing your recurring thoughts with patience and intention will give insight into your current state and can transform your life for the better. To begin, it’s best to be honest with yourself about what you want so that you can easily attract it into your life. For example, if a relationship is something you genuinely want, avoid telling yourself that you don’t like the idea or that you’re better off without one because that will push it further away from you. Acknowledge that you’ve been hurt and then offer yourself the grace to change your narrative! Change the story you have been telling yourself and affirm that you are deserving of a loving, healthy relationship – no matter what you’ve experienced in the past.
Affirmations are a tool that helps us to change the story we feed our subconscious mind. By intentionally feeding your mind positive and uplifting thoughts, you will automatically align with what you are affirming. Affirmations don’t require that you actively believe in or agree with the concept you are focusing on. For example, if you constantly repeat the affirmation “I am mean” even if you don’t really believe it, you’ll one day realize that you embody that statement because you have saturated your subconscious with it. The only thing affirmations require is consistency and intention.
If there is a part of your life that is not working as well as you like, you can change it. Spend some time with yourself, figure out what it is you want deep down and create some affirmations to bring that part of you to life.
Personally, affirmations helped me a lot when I was struggling with boundaries. I kept feeling upset about people not respecting me until I realized that I had the power to change that. I wanted my story to be different, so I recited affirmations like “I am worthy and deserving of respect,” and “It is okay for me to say no.” Over time, these thoughts became normal for me and subsequently began to influence my behavior and relationships with others. I am a firm believer in affirmations because I have experienced the amazing results that come along with it. As long as you persist in your affirmations with intention, your reality will transform for the better and you will feel an immense shift.
If you are open and ready to get started, here is a list of 7 basic affirmations that you can start with.
1. I love myself
2. Good things are coming my way
3. I am a magnet for success
4. Abundance is my birthright
5. I only attract loving, healthy relationships
6. I have come a long way, I deserve to feel proud of myself
7. I am worthy of all the things I desire
Repeat these every day, maybe as a part of your morning routine, and do it consistently for about a month. No matter what your external situation is like, just persist. Make your mind a wonderful place to be and your life will follow.
With Love,
Tomisin
Header Photo: Eye for Ebony / Unsplash
Written by Tomisin Oyinloye
